


Fire in the rain

by Wolkje25



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Drama & Romance, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, reunion one shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-21
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2019-03-22 07:20:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13759086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolkje25/pseuds/Wolkje25
Summary: My take on the reunion, which will happen tomorrow! Just to make the wait a little more bearable ;)





	Fire in the rain

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! Here I am again! I have been away for more than I six months, but I couldn't stop myself for writing a one shot for the reunion ;). So this is my take on the reunion! I hope you enjoy! <333

Robert had left the bar before Victoria or Vanessa had even had a chance to say goodbye. But he had to get out. After yesterday, he didn’t think he could handle seeing Aaron and Alex together any more or longer than he absolutely had to. He couldn’t be there and see Aaron and Alex chatting to each other like a normal couple. Not after what had happened yesterday. Not after it had broken his heart.

It was not exactly easy to ignore things when everything about those things had changed. It was like walking in to find your house broken into, only nothing had been taken, only rearranged, different than it was before. There was nothing to be done, because there was no actual damage, but Robert was aware of the change more than he’d ever been aware of anything. It was not something he could just ignore, or even accept. Everything was different. Every thought of ever getting back with Aaron, had faded into nothingness, when he found out Aaron had asked Alex to move with him. It marked the end of his relationship with Aaron and Aaron’s new life with Alex.

It changed everything. And then, along that same vein, everything was exactly the same. His feelings were still exactly the same, his thoughts about Aaron were still the same. Everyone seemed to have moved on except for him.

That had also been one of the reasons he had agreed to come tonight. Because he had to prove to himself more than anyone he was ready to move on. He even had had a good time. Until he had seen Aaron with Alex. Until he had been there at the exact bar were Robert had been. It had been that moment he had decided he couldn’t stay there any longer. He needed to go, be anywhere but there. So here he was, standing in the cold air, trying to push all his emotions back down, as he put on his coat. But his body froze the moment he heard that familiar voice from behind him.

“Where are you going?”

Robert closed his eyes, as if he could close him out like that, pretend he wasn’t standing right behind him. He desperately tried to keep his feelings under control as he took a deep breath and turned around.

Aaron was standing there, hands in his pockets, his breath pushing steam through the cold air. He looked at him like he was waiting for something, expecting something, his eyes more open and gentle than Robert had seen in weeks, months even.

Robert didn’t know what to do with that, with that frail open expression in the eyes of the man he still loved, even after all these months. He didn’t know how to react to this, to his sudden appearance, to that question, that said absolutely nothing, but held so much weight at the same time. He didn’t know what to do, except to pretend like Aaron was not the only thing he could think about.

“I can’t do this,” Robert whispered without really thinking about it, more to himself than to Aaron. He was ready to walk away, but Aaron’s words stopped him.

“Do what?” Aaron answered, his expression changing, as if he wondered what was going on in Robert’s mind, as if he really wanted to know, needed to know where Robert was thinking about.

Robert just looked at Aaron, he wasn’t even sure why he didn’t just turn around and walked away. He wasn’t quite sure why he couldn’t look away from Aaron. As if he was waiting for Aaron to say something more than he had already done. Maybe he was waiting for a sign, for something that would tell him he hadn’t imagined everything that had happened the last couple of days. For something which would give him a clue why they were standing here outside in the cold, while Alex was right inside to take Aaron back to their home. _His_ home. But as that thought crossed his mind and he looked at Aaron, he remembered what he had promised to himself, to Aaron, at Christmas. That he would let him go. He had to. He took a step backwards and turned around, not willing for Aaron to see his expression, as his face fell the moment he turned around. “You don’t need to be worried about me, I’m fine.” Robert’s heart tightened painfully even before the lies had left his mouth.

“Why do you do this?” Aaron answered, his voice sounding slightly harsher now, accusing. Maybe even a bit desperate, Robert wasn’t sure. All Robert knew was that Aaron standing there, made all his feelings fly right back to the surface.

“Do what?” Robert asked, a little confused as he turned around to look at Aaron again. He frowned by the tired look in Aaron’s eyes, still wondered what was going on, why Aaron was standing here and not being with Alex right this moment, with the man who took his place. Robert ignored the pang of hurt that ran through his body by that thought alone.

“Pretend.”

Robert felt caught by that one word, as if Aaron had been able to look right passed his façade and called him out for what was underneath. “Sorry?”

Aaron looked taken aback himself and if Robert didn’t know any better, nervous as well. Aaron bit his lower lip, before he said softly: “I’m just worried about you.”

Robert had a feeling like he couldn’t breathe for a moment. It still hit him hard when Aaron showed him he still cared for him. But it was not the same, not like before. And it hurt, it hurt so Goddamn much. It felt like a stab in the back while he was at his most vulnerable. Because if Aaron would push any further, Robert was going to break inside, like he had broken him yesterday, when he had realized Alex was moving in with Aaron. Those wounds were too raw and Aaron caring for him, just made that pain impossible to escape, made parts of Robert ache that he hadn’t known could anymore.

Robert turned around again, to save himself from the feelings that were trying to suffocate him, but he hadn’t even moved until he felt Aaron’s hand on his arm, burning a hole through his coat, making it impossible for Robert to walk away. “Robert please, wait.”

Robert’s eyes landed on Aaron again and it felt like a switch went off in his head, as he looked into Aaron’s questioning, almost begging eyes. And suddenly he couldn’t hold the words back anymore. The words he had been drowning in for too long. “What….what do you want me to say?!”Robert cried out, the hurt and anger clawing to the surface. “That I’m angry, upset, furious because you decided that it was okay to ask Alex to move in with you on our wedding anniversary, while you tried to kiss me only days before that, then fine I am. I am angry, I want to yell at you because I think you are making a mistake, knowing that I can’t as it is all my fault to begin with! So why don’t you do us both a favour and go back inside to your boyfriend and leave me the hell alone.” Robert removed his arm from Aaron’s grasp and took a step back just to have some physical distance between them again.

But as Robert tried to catch his breath after his outburst, he realized Aaron was still standing there, hadn’t turned around to go back inside. As Robert’s eyes found Aaron’s again, Aaron looked completely unmoved by his words, as if he had anticipated them, as if Robert had given him exactly what he wanted from him. “If there’s anyone who has the right to be angry, it should be me, shouldn’t it?”

For a moment Robert didn’t know what to say, realizing how true Aaron’s words were. He lowered his head, feeling ashamed for letting himself go like that. “Yes, I’m sorry. It’s not my place to say anything. I should go.”

“Robert, stop walking away from me!” Aaron practically yelled at him and Robert froze to the spot as his eyes landed on Aaron again, who looked almost angry now, agitated.

Aaron took a deep breath, before he took a step closer. His hands had returned to his pockets and he was looking anywhere but at Robert. Aaron bit his lip, nervously, before he finally spoke: “Alex and I broke up. Just now really. I should have done it sooner, really. Right after I tried to kiss you, to be honest. But, I don’t know…” As Aaron’s eyes finally settled on Robert’s face again, Robert felt like he forgot how to breathe. While Aaron took another step closer and looked right at him, his words just kept coming and Robert felt like his brain didn’t know how to function properly anymore, as if it had just stopped the moment Aaron had told him he and Alex had broken up. “I guess I was just scared of letting you back in again. After everything… But after seeing you with that guy, the way you laughed… I realized that I might actually lose you and I can’t. I know you said you needed to let me go, but I don’t want to let _you_ go.”

It fluttered and pressed tight against the cage of Robert’s ribs, filling his heart with frantic wonderment, and with fear. Aaron didn’t break eye contact, and Robert wished he’d look anywhere else but at him. Aaron had stepped so close to Robert now, Robert could see the exact colour of Aaron’s eyes. He was standing there, like being in Robert’s personal space was just a thing they _did_. Like the two of them standing near one another was natural. He was talking to Robert like he still loved him and Robert could _not_ handle this. Not here. Not now.

Robert just realized Aaron had stopped talking, when Aaron looked at him as if he was waiting for Robert to say he felt the same. But Robert couldn’t find his voice, as if he had suddenly lost the function to find words. “I’m sorry,” was all he was able to say, not even sure where those words were coming from.

Aaron’s face fell for a split second, before he seemed to caught himself and just looked confused by Robert’s words. “For what?”

His brain was still malfunctioning, as if it was making sense of everything Aaron had told him only moments ago. He really didn’t know how to react to that. He had no clue whatsoever. So he did what he had done for months now, trying to be a friend, trying to be there for Aaron in any way he needed him. “That you broke up with him. I just never thought…,” Robert frowned, not sure what he wanted to say. “I just thought, with him moving in yesterday, that you two were good. I mean, Alex’s good for-“

“Yes, he’s good for me,” Aaron interrupted, sounding annoyed now, his eyes burning a way into Robert’s soul. “I know. Everyone keeps saying he is good for me. But what if I don’t want good? What if I stopped lying to myself and I deserve to be selfish, even if just for a bit. What if it meant telling this one person in the world that I want him, in whatever ways he’ll have me. What then?”

Robert’s heart grew twelve sizes bigger until his rib cage could crack with the pressure of it.

It built and built, the feeling inside of him. And Robert didn’t know _why_ he suddenly felt that he had to scream it from the rooftops. Maybe because before, before he lost the fucking _ability to speak_ , Robert could’ve released the want in him in bouts of self-deprecation, in ignoring the feelings inside, in bickering with Aaron so Aaron would be pissed with him. Everything to hide his own feelings for all those months, as he had no right to have them, no right to feel that way anymore. He had had to give Aaron the chance to move on, so he could do the same. Or at least pretend to do the same. Because he already knew, had known for months that he would never, truly be able to move on. But he had to try for both their sakes. Aaron deserved more than him. Robert had always been a smooth talker. He dealt with feelings by never shutting the fuck up about anything else. It worked, ninety nine percent of the time.

Except for that pesky other one percent. Except for now. Because now he was standing here, unable to say a thing, all the things he’d held back for so long welling up in him like an expensive bottle of champagne about to pop.

Still, he tried to reason it, tried to pretend his feelings didn’t exist. That everything was about Aaron, for Aaron. As everything he had done in the last months had been for him, about him. “I just want you to be happy,” he confessed softly.

Aaron smiled softly at that, making Robert’s heart ache even more. “So what if that’s with you?”

Robert shook his head, felt as if there was a big lump in his throat. “It can’t be. The things I did to you, how I broke you… Alex is good for you. He is honest, trustworthy. He is-”

“Not you!” Robert gaped at him after Aaron had yelled those words at him, still having no idea what the hell was happening, or how he was supposed to react to everything that was happening. All he knew, was that the chance to walk away, was long gone.

xXx

Aaron couldn’t believe Robert was so bull-headed. He was laying his heart out there and Robert was still looking at him, as if he was a complete stranger, as if he was speaking another language. He took a deep breath to calm the raising of his heart. “He is not you.”

Robert was shaking his head now, as if he was trying to convince himself Aaron was either crazy or delusional, or maybe both. Aaron knew he was right when Robert spoke again: “Aaron, you don’t know what you’re saying. He just moved in with you. You can’t just break up with him after that. Just go to him, or go home and think about what you want, because this-”

“I love you,” Aaron just said, without even really thinking about it. But the moment the words left his mouth, he realized how true they were. His voice was hoarse as fuck and yes, yes it really did sound like he hadn’t said those words in ages. He blushed. It felt stupid to blurt it out like that after months of silence. But if he never got to say anything ever again, he wanted for Robert to know how he really felt.

“Don’t…” Robert almost looked wrecked now, as if he was fighting back tears, as if Aaron’s words were tearing him apart. “Don’t say things you don’t mean.”

“Do you think that after all this time, after spending months apart, after everything that has happened, I would go on and say things I don’t mean?” He sounded desperate and weary now, but he needed for Robert to hear this. “I am so tired of ignoring this. I know it sounds crazy and it probably is, but I can’t go on living a lie. I was wrong for asking Alex to move in with me. It was stupid. I was just scared. But I can’t keep on fighting this. I love you.”

He saw it in Robert’s eyes, the inner battle, the fight he was having with himself. Robert was trying to figure out what to do, what choice to make. But Aaron had already made his choice. He just needed to help Robert make his one too.

“Why are you fighting this? Why can’t you believe me?” he just asked, pleading with his eyes for Robert to tell him the truth.

His question seemed to open a whole flood of emotions inside Robert, because he saw the walls inside Robert begin to crack and suddenly Robert was yelling at him: “Because I don’t deserve it! I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve you. I never deserved it. Ever since we’ve met, all I’ve ever done is hurt you.”

“And love me,” Aaron answered, his eyes still focused on Robert’s face, not looking away. “You are the only person who ever loved me like that, the only one who knows everything about me and still loves me.”

Robert’s breathing was rigid and he was staring at Aaron as if he was just now seeing him for the first time. There was space between him and Robert that felt charged. And Aaron was aware of every movement Robert made. Each pull of his lips as he bit on them, each gentle shift of his body as his eyes searched Aaron’s face for something, Aaron didn’t quite get. It gave Aaron the sickly sweet urge to touch, to press, to plaster himself against Robert the way he’d always wanted to. Just the two of them.

Still Robert hadn’t spoken a word. And Aaron began to become very aware of what he had just said, how he had laid his heart out like that and Robert still hadn’t responded to that. Aaron started to feel a bit nervous, fingers twisting ever so slightly. “Or,” he said, swallowing, “maybe I misinterpreted this. Us. If there was even an us to begin with-,” He looked up at Robert and Robert was still just staring at him and Aaron’s heart seemed to break with that. He cleared his throat, tried to hold back the tears that were about to form in his eyes. “Look, this wouldn’t exactly be the first time I missed the mark on a person’s feelings for me, so maybe I should just go. And uh.., we can forget this ever happened, and probably forget the stuff that I said or did when I thought you felt something…”

He trailed off, uncertain, freight train conversation tactics now running out of steam.

xXx

This was the moment, probably, when Robert should say something. Say it was _not_ in Aaron’s head, that he _hadn’t_ missed the mark, and that Robert wanted to pretty much forget everything except what Aaron had ever said or done.

It clicked into place, then. Aaron was never going to laugh at Robert and tell him he was just messing with him. Aaron was standing there, waiting to be laughed at himself.

Robert should say something. He needed to say something.

Robert, at the most _convenient time possible_ , appeared to be going into shock. Aaron was crumpling by the second and Robert couldn’t seem to get around the black hole that had opened up in his chest, sucking up all the things he’d been dying to tell Aaron since the second Aaron had tried to kiss him.

“Before I go, can I just say I’m sorry?” Aaron said, his eyes as hurt as Robert had ever seen them and Robert couldn’t deal with that right now. He didn’t want to hear Aaron apologize for anything, ever. “I’m sorry that I read things wrong, I’m sorry for asking Alex to move in with me, on our anniversary of all days and I’m sorry for not telling you sooner how I feel, I should’ve said something that night on the phone, I just-”

“Shut up!” Robert spit out, suddenly finding his voice again, not wanting to hear Aaron apologize for things that didn’t matter in the slightest. Not at all. “If there is one person who has to apologize it’s me.” Aaron had closed his mouth and was now looking at Robert with those gorgeous blue eyes. And Robert knew he had to say all the words he been holding back for so long, before it was too late to say them at all. “I am sorry for Rebecca, for that night that ruined everything. For hurting you in the worst way. For breaking my vows to you. You have no idea what I’d do to undo everything.”

Robert could see his words touched Aaron as Aaron’s eyes started to water and Robert’s heart broke with it. “It’s okay,” Aaron just said, his voice soft, fragile.

Robert just shook his head as he took a step closer to Aaron. “No, it’s not okay. I should have put you first, I should’ve been there for you. And I wasn’t. I failed you and our marriage and I don’t deserve to get you back. Not after the mess I made of everything.”

“It doesn’t matter to me anymore. It broke me. But it doesn’t break me anymore.” Robert just looked at Aaron, completely taken aback by Aaron’s words. Not sure if he should allow himself to believe them. He was so completely taken in by Aaron, he didn’t even realize droplets had started to fall down. And apparently neither did Aaron as he just talked on: “I want to be with you. I want to be with the person who understands me, who gets me without having to explain everything. And I think we can work it out this time. I’m in a better place right now. And you, you got a son, which turned you into a better version of yourself. Robert, you’re all I need.”

The mention of his son reeled Robert back into reality. “But Seb… Seb comes with me, Aaron. I can’t ask you to accept him, but that’s how it is now. I can’t leave him, he needs me.”

“I know.” Robert had the feeling as if he had forgotten how to breathe as Aaron moved closer and looked up at him with tears in his eyes. But there was a soft smile on his face as well, one that tucked at Robert heartstrings. “I already told you he was kinda cute, didn’t I?”

Droplets were falling down now, cold and wet on Robert’s skin. Drops of water trickled down his body as he stood there and Robert wasn’t sure if he was going to burst in tears or laugh out loud, but he could feel the emotions flooding through him, knowing he had never loved Aaron more than in this moment. “I love you.”

xXx

Aaron could feel it settle in his bones the moment Robert’s words sank into his skin. The warmth, the joy. Rain and tears mingled on his face, salty tracks blending into the fresh sky-fallen trickles, after Robert’s words. He closed his eyes. He breathed. And when he opened them, Robert was still there.

“Yeah?” Aaron asked, his voice shaking slightly, taken over by emotions flooding through his body.

Robert smiled at him, a soft, nervous smile. But a smile nonetheless. “Yes, I never stopped.”

And with that, the wild thundering of Aaron’s heart began to slow.

Careful not to move too suddenly, as if the very air around them could jostle and break, Aaron stepped closer to Robert, crowded forward into the space between them. He looked up into Robert’s eyes, which were half closed as he looked down at Aaron, before Aaron’s eyes dragged down towards Robert’s lips and he leaned in. Leaned, even when he heard Robert’s sharp intake of breath, or maybe it was his own. Leaned until they were nose to nose, and Aaron was faced with the undeniable sight of Robert’s freckles, the soft expression on his face, slack with surprise, unable to breathe.

He kissed Robert soft, didn’t move and didn’t touch save for where their lips met and their noses bumped. Felt heat in his face, as cold droplets caressed his face and he knew that colour must be flooding his cheeks.

He kissed Robert soft and Robert smelled like that same expensive shower gel, he remembered so well. The corner of Robert’s lips were slowly pulling into that stupid smirk and Aaron for the life of him couldn’t help it—he kissed that, too.

Robert’s hands were still at his sides, like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with them. But when Aaron pulled back, there was this stupidly glazed look on Robert’s face, grin stretching wider in an expression so reverent that Aaron almost wondered what Robert could possibly be looking at. When he realized, it was because of him, for him, his stomach made that well-known backflip.

The water streamed through his hair now, down his neck, soaking his clothes. The chilly wind cut through him like a knife, but he couldn't care. He was gleeful, overjoyed, felt almost blinded by the sight of Robert smiling like that. There were dimples, and laugh lines, a rush of pink on his cheeks.

“What?” Aaron asked, as he looked up at Robert’s smiling face.

“I never thought I would get to kiss you again,” Robert muttered, biting his bottom lip as if that would keep the smile tampered down and Aaron just smiled at his words, as if giving him permission to do just that.

Robert grinned back at him then and finally moved, settled one hand on Aaron’s waist to steady him, and used the other to pull Aaron right back into him. Robert’s mouth was warm and soft and he was every bit as gentle as Aaron could have hoped he would be, tentative and unsure and so achingly tender in the way he touched, as the rain fell down around them. Aaron had spent months trying to fight this feeling that was now bursting free inside his chest, but now, as Robert’s hand moved to fit along his jaw, then around the back of his neck to pull him even closer, he felt the armour around his chest starting to crack like melting permafrost and coming down, piece by frigid piece.

The same fear and wonderment that had been beating against his rib cage just days ago now burst forth, the sensation hitting him like that very first kiss they had shared all those years ago, rush of gravity and speed and feelings knocking him off his damn feet. Thinking straight wasn’t an option for Aaron beyond getting a fistful of that messy hair and kissing the man he loved for all he was worth, so he did just that, he leaned into the sensation, into Robert, too dizzy to worry if it seemed like he was starving for that contact, because he likely was.

It could be hours, how long they went at it like that, or maybe days, or years. Time felt rootless and without structure, kissing Robert felt infinite, without limits of passing or slowing down, just a general continuous stream of warmth that seeped into Aaron with the promise of never leaving.

It was just when he started to get too cold and wet, he pulled back. He looked up at Robert, with a sly smile on his face, while a droplet fell from Robert’s wet hair. “Want to go home?” he whispered soft. He slipped his hand into Robert’s without hesitation and it fit perfectly, as if it had never left.  
Robert smiled and it was as if someone had turned the light back on into Robert’s eyes. There was just no way Aaron was able to look away from it. All Aaron could do was smile at him, so hard his cheeks ached, so full to bursting with happiness that he was stupid with it.

“Yes,” Robert said, cupped Aaron’s cheek and kissed his lips one more time. And Aaron kissed him back, just to feel the way Robert leaned into him and settled a hand on the small of his back. Robert still smiled as he pulled back: “Let’s go home.”

The End

**Author's Note:**

> So that's it! I hope you enjoyed it! Please, let me know what you think in the comments! It will mean the world to me if you did! <333


End file.
